Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
