she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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