Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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