I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
