I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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