Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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