just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
