So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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