i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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