just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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