Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
