At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
