apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
