You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize