my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
