Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
