I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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