Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
