I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
whose parrot is this?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
that may or may not have been my penis.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
