I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
