I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
