tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
