it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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