My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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