my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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