it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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