He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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