You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
