Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We got so high we made milksteak
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
