Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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