Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
