careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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