Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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