So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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