so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
