you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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