Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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