Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think people are normalizing furries
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
