Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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