she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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