it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I forget how to act sober
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