You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
