So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize