Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
