It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
