dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
