Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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