I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
