Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize
