Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
