Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
