Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
