Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I need help removing her.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize