I need help removing her.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
