Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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