Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
3 2 1 whiskey
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
