so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
