I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
