hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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