mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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