Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize