She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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