I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
