this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
