Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
