no, he came in my armpit
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
