Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
