He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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