With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My feet surprised me
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
