Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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