All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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