Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
