Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
