just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
