A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
