Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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