I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
